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The tides of March

It is a new year. A time to celebrate life, love, success, you know, the stuff that's supposedly the formula for success. This is a year filled with promise and so much hope. Already, the tides are changing in the form of swift justice to rampant evil doers. It's almost like a comic book that has been waiting to be written for years upon years now.

Winter is strangling the earth in a cosmic struggle for dominance and most people cannot explain why. But of course, I am not most people. There is a purge coming. And it will sweep the nation faster than many people can act upon. This will not come in the form of murder. Oh no, it will not have to consume a single life on earth at all. The purge is coming to eradicate oppression.

Basically, if you are full of shit, you will be coming on hard times this year. If you are about tomfoolery, you will be found out THIS year. So much karma is revolving this year I can't begin to express my gratitude.

Justice
Karma
It's time
Year of Discipline

At year's end

It is interesting to know that I have successfully lived to this point. I have seen the entire world plunge into chaos of one form or another, and yet here I stand. I am confident that I can accomplish anything that I want to accomplish in life. The hardest choice for me is DECIDING what I actually want. The truth is, I only really want to be happy with myself with what I actually do. My desires have over and over again shown me they can be accomplished regardless of circumstances.

I don't understand why some people will only focus on the negative aspects of their lives. Like, I watch them as they only focus on the past and never try to imagine themselves in any other location or place of being. What it comes down to is fear. F.E.A.R. False, evidence, already, realized. A good friend of mine taught me that acronym. And I am forever grateful that he did. There is no proof that you will fail. There is only the fear that you truly believe that you will.

If you actually just try to accomplish something, you'd be surprised at how fast you actually can. It is in my belief that society has programmed us to believe in only failure. But you see, if you actually are doing something for the fun of doing it, instead of worrying about a paycheck, you'll accomplish so much more in the long run. It is the fear that you MUST make a huge income that drives people to believe in failure. This is my observation on the issue.

Do what you enjoy doing, regardless of society. (please do not do anything illegal lol ) You'll be so much more aware and free to accomplish anything. I recommend it to anyone. I recommend this advice to my younger and older self. Keep moving, keep going, love yourself, and reach endlessly for happiness first, you'll enjoy life so much more.

Q

Year of the Rat

Oh you the clever one. You the virtuous one. You have went so far as to make your points known and have searched high and low to find the best bargains. Year of the Rat. You really are a character. I have known of you for a long long time and I adore you despite your flaws. You know, the ones you try so desperately to sweep under the rug.... ALL OF THE TIME! Your inherent fear of people discovering those flaws really perplexes me. When behind closed doors, you actually really are something to behold.

I'd swear that when others aren't looking, you become something that is unlike what you portray all of the time. It is interesting that you hold onto this until you finally find your inner peace. But the true beauty of you, is the genius that you  hold secret. You make startling discoveries that you keep secret and yet there is a whole world that actually does love you for what you actually are. You shouldn't be worried about hiding it, be yourself. 

Now initially, you never trusted me. You wonder how it is that I see right through your disguise and that bothers you immensely. You analyze me from head to toe and the fact that someone so simple and flawed can see through your veil actually gets to you. I get it, you like staying hidden. You like keeping private things private. But from where I am standing, you'd have a much easier life, if you were more honest with yourself. 

We've had our conflicts before. Where you and I would have a misunderstanding of sorts, but then you go off the deep end, like I purposely wish to destroy you. Then you find out years later from mutual friends, that that was never the case at all. But instead of actually making up with me, you hold onto that grudge. It hurts you only in the end game. That grudge you hold is  yours and yours alone, because I have already forgiven the misunderstanding.  I've already moved on from the pain and regret, and the judgment of you. 

I actually still love you despite what you think. Your harmful non you ways do not phase me one bit. Because I know how things end up alright for you in the end. 

Despite darkness you rise.

It's amazing what life will put you through. I realize now that the true leaders of the world, the real movers and shakers are people who have been through a lot. People who have carved themselves into our society's history have one thing in common: struggle. It is with this struggle that they learn how to evolve. With evolution, everyone changes in some form or fashion. But to truly evolve, usually involves some form of emotional hardship that tempers you like a blade.

And once that blade is fully forged, there is a remarkable after event that usually follows. You either become better or worse from the hardships you have endured. I was so entrenched into so much of my own hardships, blaming the past. But I see clearly now, how that shaped me into the individual that I am today. I've learned that if anyone, and I mean anyone tries to diminish you or your concerns in any way, you cut that person off. Your power is your own belief, your own faith, and understanding. Never let anyone tell you what you cannot truly achieve. Never let anyone tell you not to become what you want to be. Do not let their fears become your own.

Wear the costume, drink the wine, talk to that girl or guy you've been eyeing, it all is worth the experience of it in the end. Never live with regret at all unless you can learn from that regret. Hardships create opportunities to grow within yourself. Established systems are only temporary realities in the face of the universe. Be who you truly are, the world will know anyways. Run for that council seat, create that business that will eventually fail, it is all part of the process. Failure creates opportunities.

Knowledge is true power. It is with this that you rise. It is with belief and knowledge, that you overcome everything in your life. No one can take that away from you. Your age is meaningless in the scope of the universe. Your ethnicity is meaningless in the greater scope of the universe. Your gender, sexual orientation, national origin, etc. not of that actually matters in the greater scope of the universe. Legends rise regardless of circumstances, be your own.



Q

The Miseducation of an abused islander

I'm not a jealous person at all. I love when I see my friends doing well and I enjoy how good life is for myself in general. I understand that every path is a completely unique one. But I will not help that I must express some things that I have sorely regretted. I didn't get to choose my parents. No one does, it's all a matter of a universal dice roll that we get what we get when we get it. But seriously, did you have to give me the abusive non apparent father and a mother who joined Jehovah's witnesses and doesn't believe in holidays?

Was it necessary for me to be abused for my entire childhood and adolescence to make me reach this point? Was I supposed to never have met or knew my grandparents from either side to give me this strong sense of individual purpose? I'm not jealous of my friends at all. But when people complain to me about how "hard" life is, I reflect upon my journey and silently think to myself, that they have no idea just how hard life truly can be.

That wasn't them, that had a step father that sexually abused my middle sister, which led to her having severe trust issues with men. That wasn't them whom was used to traffic cocaine as an 8 year old across Florida and Georgia airports. That wasn't them who had to endure the endless onslaught of insults thrown at them just for the color of their skin.

I'm just going to come out and say it, God gave me a bad dice roll on birth. But it didn't stop me from creating something for myself. It didn't stop me, from graduating high school on my own. It didn't stop me from putting myself through the ARMY and getting my scholarship money. It never stopped me from learning how to be an artist. It never stopped me from learning that life is about the better things in it, rather than just status.

Maybe I am a walking pit of depression duct taped with a work uniform and crying while I welcome you to a retail store. Maybe I am the next great writer or creator of something the world is itching to have next. I honestly don't know. But I do know that I have survived far worse than many children, and I am still here to talk about it. Maybe I'll be able to get out of my pit of subconscious depression and do something for myself for a change.

Hopefully I can meet someone who is awesome for me. But it isn't for the sake of my friends. It is for the sake of my ever sinking, ever struggling heart. I have friends that are wonderful indeed. But how many of them can relate to what I have gone through? How many of them can actually sit down and stomach a conversation about coping with a hard life? I have another confession, I'm tired of repairing people who don't show gratitude. So I'll be on a bit of a break from that.

I should have listened to James' mother when she told me to focus on me. Why? Because all of those people have been left behind anyways.

The boogie ghetto

As a black man, I carry a weight while living within the United States. It's versions of oppression and selective racism are no stranger to me at all. But this post is not about that at all. It's to describe a particular "type" of black person that I have learned to despise within the scope of my entire life. It's the "boogie ghetto" type. What's the boogie ghetto type of black person? I'll tell you, free of charge. And I'll even go so far as to make sure I describe to the fullest my experiences with this type of person. Now, please do not confuse this with a form of "uncle Tom" labeling or separatist mindset. This is a growing problem within the USA and most especially in rural parts of American cities.

The Boogie ghetto is the black man or woman that makes all attempts to appear sophisticated. No expense is too high to get that Prada shirt. No expense is too high to get that Brazilian hair weave. They are all on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook with all of the latest filters and posts. They make sure that you know that their lives are "blessed" and filled with a radiant self love. They are the ones who are quick to point out that they have a nice car. Any argument with a "boogie ghetto" will quickly turn into a need to prove some form of self status with belongings.

What I find interesting is the fact that I've only seen Black American culture produce this. Oh I don't doubt that every other culture in America has some form of version of it, but only in Black American culture will you see it so widespread as consumerism has plagued the minds of these individuals. Now let's describe what makes the boogie ghetto, ghetto. You would think that this same person who spends $600 on a car note with nice rims doesn't mind going half on a pizza with you. But that's where you are mistaken. The other side of this coin is even more ridiculous as the first one mentioned. The cheapskate side is devastating to behold.

This is the side of the boogie ghetto that has servers in restaurants not wanting to serve black people. Not that there isn't some forms of inherent racism in some cases, but because that server with the tattoos has had a bad encounter with the boogie ghetto. The server is polite and kind and does his/her job to the fullest while working a fast paced shift. It is nearing closing time and THIS "boogie ghetto" walks in the establishment as if they have the honors to do so at any time. They walk in about 15 minutes to closing, but they want the best seats in the house. You can't argue with them, because they are playing the game of "customer service" to get what they want.

The server is tired and waits their table. The boogie ghetto wants the best wine, the best meal, and wants that steak medium well. The server does their job to the fullest despite being tired. Everything appears well at first, and then, it happens. The boogie ghetto calls over the server. "I need to speak to your manager." The server is perplexed and is wondering what could have gone wrong. The drinks have stayed full, they have properly served the tables with equal service, they even made sure to ask if everything was ok, and THIS BITCH wants to speak to a manager.

So the server begins to ask customer service based, open ended questions. "Is there something I can help you with first?" The boogie ghetto has a look of disgust on their face and at that point gets infuriating to deal with. So the server goes to get the manager and to the server's dismay, the boogie ghetto makes a complaint about "how they were served unfairly." Or they complain about the "quality of the food" they were served. Something, ANYTHING, that makes it appear like they were inconvenienced for just being THERE at that particular time. And why do you think they did this? Because they want something for free.

You see, underneath those Chanel Shades and Prada shirt, is a spinster that is skilled at playing the "customer service game" to get what she/he wants without paying for it. They know exactly what time to come in (usually near closing) to target an establishment and play the blame game to "get a discount" or to get it for free. Which is extremely frustrating to deal with due to larger company HR and customer service policies here in the US. You don't see them in the suburbs or country areas with low populations that often. This is because smaller mom and pop shops usually just throw them the fuck out like the trash that they are. So many have adapted to targeting inner city establishments and large scale companies.

This is the scum of the Black American consumer culture that gives many of us a very bad reputation. This is partially the reason why a LOT of people in customer service breathe out that winded "sigh" when they see a black person enter the room. Oh don't get me wrong, there are racists almost everywhere in this country, but THIS boogie ghetto is usually the PRIMARY REASON why many people quit customer service jobs. This is the reason so many managers feel powerless and need to "move on with their respective career field." No one likes them, but you would swear by their Instagram posts that their lives are filled with luxury and good times.

No one really "fucks with them", because at some point during the friendship, they made you pay for there way into a club right before they dropped you like a bad habit. The boogie ghetto is Black America's Herpes virus, we don't always see them, but somewhere down the line they are pretty sure to appear.