Drifting

I have reached a point in my life that I have found myself drifting in an abyss of thoughts. I wake up thankful for the life I was allowed to live, knowing that it can only get better from here. I am an artist that wants to be well paid and respected for what he does. But truth be told, I realize now it isn't about what others actually think.

Well to be honest, it isn't about focusing on impressing anyone else. That was a mistake I have made for a long time in my lifetime. I always wanted some sort of nod of approval or at least acknowledgement for the things I had done. But somewhere within adolescence I realized that such approval was just not going to show up. I had to impress myself with what I was learning and doing. But that is the coup de grace of the whole thing. I am my own worst critic and yet I was trying to be impressed by what I am working towards.

It is always like that for most artists. We always criticize ourselves with not being good enough to make an impression. We always submit ourselves to the cracking whip of some invisible autonomy that actually lives within ourselves. That is why most artists cheapen themselves to make a quick dollar when their work is worth just so much more. Self respect and dignity pouring down a drain of empty approval and empty promises never to be fulfilled until we either wake up from the nightmare of disbelief or until we "make it" within our own eyes.

But here I am, drifting within thoughts. It has always been in my nature to want to attempt to solve things. I want to be successful. I want to be well known. I want to be loved. I want to travel and explore more of the world at large. The difference now for me, is now I don't focus on "how" to do anything. The Law of Attraction actually exists and now I am using it to attain what I completely desire.

I am now changing frequencies of thought to finally escape a negative past with low vibrations and enter the wavelength of my actual desires. The only thing now to do, is to enter into the frequency to attain what I want faster. So now I am testing which is more true, vibrational frequency or actual skill of the pencil. Let's see which one happens first shall we?

Q