Searching through hard times.

The more you go through certain things, you begin to discover what you actually desire. It is through contrast you discover more of yourself. I once thought I wanted to be an acrobat. Ha, that died a quick death. Then I wanted to be a professional martial artist, which went well for a moment but then soon diminished years later. Drawing was the one that stuck for a good minute. I just don't know anymore as far as professionally making good money from it. People will "like" my stuff on various social media, but are hesitant to "buy" anything I can produce.

And I can't get angry with them about it. It is simply making me question, "what am I putting out there?" It also makes me think that something I am doing simply isn't "good enough" at times. I don't know anymore honestly. But I do know that the process makes me feel amazing. The path of creation is a fun path indeed. To conjure whole worlds of adventure and excitement are a great thing indeed. I get to write about such wonderful beings and then illustrate them and ponder over my creations.

I've recently hit a "weird spot" in life actually. I'm once again working somewhere that isn't giving me the satisfaction for my creative side. And that's just the deadly balance to the life of an artist or any creative. We want to create, but we need to get paid. The dream is to get paid doing something creative, but corporate America makes it a bit difficult. I don't know, maybe it is just the perspective I have been so used to. Maybe I can conjure up the best creation that will make me millions of dollars. Who knows exactly? But I do know, that I love myself too much to settle for anything less.

Q