Supreme Destiny

In the words of Oprah Winfrey; "there is a supreme destiny or calling in your life. It is your job to find it, whatever that is."

This quote and this phrase made me do some serious soul searching. I look back at the events of the past quite often and I see that I have been "led" by a desire for freedom and love. As far as anything professionally, I kind of was simply existing. Along the path of my own life, I knew that being an artist was part of who I am. I have went to so many different avenues of searching for what type of artwork and artistic creation was my own niche.

I love doing character art and even at times some background design. In the past, I was obsessed with comic book artwork and even with trying to work with Marvel Comics. That dream took a major detour when I had to enter the Army. But during basic training, I was encouraged to draw and paint on all of the doors. I had stopped drawing shortly thereafter and was in limbo for a few years.

After the military, I was drifting in choices on school and that is when I was encouraged by a long time old friend of mine to "continue drawing." He went out of his way to make a website and promote me with current and new drawing listings. This then pushed me in the direction of the Art Institute of Atlanta. I wanted to draw and enhance myself on a higher career with my illustration skills. At the time, there was no major in Illustration. Animation had a lot of the courses I wanted to take, but there were financial obstacles that prevented me from joining the animation major.

After I left the college without a degree or even hope, I drifted into a state of depression. I felt like I failed myself, my family, and everyone that believed in me. I finally received work at a hardware company and "survived" for 9 years. During that time, I gained a massive amount of weight, attained an addictive nature to video games, and gave up on ever thinking about love. "Is this it? Is all that my life has to offer?" These were the questions I was thinking to myself. Slowly but surely, one friend, two friends, and then even a whole tribe of people were encouraging me to get back into drawing.

I've since bought many art supplies, posted many pictures on the web, and even been paid by commissions to produce work for clients. I have since left that hardware store, but the money wasn't flowing to me like it used to. Now, I'm at another crossroads and have no idea of what to do. I do know, somewhere, somehow, it will all work out for me. But there is this lingering feeling of where is the big thing that I'm supposed to do? There are people who even now, are believing in me to do some great thing. I truly wish, I knew what that was.

If you are reading this, then maybe you have an answer. Someone somewhere please give me the damn answer.