The price of change.

We live in a world that is completely subjective, and yet due to emotion and perspective, it is easy to give your attention to negativity. I have blamed so many others in my younger days of my journey. So many things that have happened that were "written off" by the very ones who have committed atrocities to my mind. Because of this, I had often neglected myself.

I never thought of myself as someone who was worthy of love or respect, because I was abused for a long time during my childhood. The very first person I had fallen in love with broke down my barriers. He could see beyond my anger that there was so much pain. But in the course of things, even he ended up leaving me to fulfill a dream that didn't even happen.

We are taught in society that love is something that you give to others, but we are never taught about how good it actually is to give it to yourself. I have pondered and wasted so much time in the past in trying to have others love me. And here I was, not even caring for myself. Thinking of my own life like a bloated hard drive of bad information, I have made the decision to purge my life of all the bad memories and patterns of thinking.

I have decided to leave the popular social media sites, (at least for now) to stay here with myself. Social media has turned into a nest egg for narcissism. I do enjoy being able to use it for business or even a good laugh, but I haven't spent enough time loving exactly who I am and doing what I enjoy. Blogging is so much more fulfilling to me, because I am telling a perspective, my perspective, and I don't need to worry about disruptive ads, or various distractions.

I want to experiment with this, because I believe that social media (when used outside of business), is too much of an ego stroking mechanism. People fight far too often over opinions on subjects they have little to no control over. So excuse me while I write stories here, and enjoy my imagination.

Q