Path of least resistance

I had to learn recently that it is when we surrender struggling, that our best options open up. I've been beating a drum of constant struggle and worry, because that is what I have been trained to believe for such a very long time. So I decided to "give up" so to speak. I stopped trying so hard to become anything. I stopped trying to reach for these monumental goals when I realized I had to ask myself a simple question.

The question I asked myself was "does any of this actually matter if I die?" Right there, so much clarity came open to me in the blink of an eye. All of those "things" I wanted to own do not truly matter if I am not here. All of those places I wanted to see, would still be there regardless of my lifetime. And all I truly really want in this life of mine, is simply to feel good. Desire isn't a bad thing at all, let me clear that up.

Desire is actually normal to have, but in a consumer based society filled with marketing and social media, we get caught up in unwanted details. You don't want to live in your home town because it bores you. You go to college, or join the military and leave your hometown. You experience new things, places, and people, but you are still the you that came from your hometown. You are trying so hard to use the outside as an excuse to control what you want to feel on the inside. That is really what it all comes down to.

Most people are trained to think of their lives as some sort of set of goals. The journey itself is the actual experience we are having. What we experience each day being driven on this force known as vibration and what we are attracting to ourselves. What I am saying in this blur of philosophical drivel, is that you are the magic of your life. You are the center of your experiences. You are the common factor of everything you have been through. What you are focusing on is completely and utterly determined by you.

Don't like how your life is going? Stop repeating the same pattern of thought. It is up to you to change, before your life  itself does. Stop waiting for the hero to come save you, be the hero of your story.

Q

Self feedback 9/3/2016

Q,
You have endured quite a bit in your lifetime. Trust me, the world is reminded of it every time you speak. We get it now, you are damaged goods trying to make some sort of good out of all of this. The time has come for you to simply sit still and listen. Stop trying to be right all the time, you see where that has gotten you? Exactly. Now I recommend you stop worrying about other people's thoughts so much and start nurturing your own. The truth is, you were programmed with so much negativity during your budding youth, that it became habit to down yourself.

You really need to take a chill pill and realize that you are just fine the way you are. The motivation for you to change in anything should not be for the sake of other people. You've never loved yourself enough to truly flourish in all of this time. You are very skilled and talented and you yourself, NEVER gave yourself enough value. You know you really do not need to look to others to validate any part of you right? So why do you worry so much about how you affect others? Sit down, relax and do what you enjoy on your own time. You are already successful, stop trying to have other people validate that.

Love,
Yourself

Dragon con 2016

This is such a sweet weekend. I am off work (Syria lol), I have my ticket to everything this weekend, and I have my costume almost done in record time. I'll be able to see so many friends again and this is a wonderful plus. I decided to recreate my valkyrie armor from EVA foam again and it is going pretty well. I think I'll add in some cardboard weaponry just for kicks. I'm having so much fun this weekend, all I can do is be thankful for it all.