Women like you....

Women like you, start off as girls who only wanted to be loved and cherished.
And then, somewhere in adolescence, you became irrelevant to people you loved.
You were ignored and at times, silently pitied by people that knew you as you did so many foolish things to get attention.
Women like you then garnered purpose to get the best grades in high school because you had "something to prove." You made it a point to be president of all the clubs, to be in student council, to be "seen" to be "noticed" in any way you could. You would go out of your way to cut down any male that you deemed an obstacle in your plans. Meanwhile, you set the course for you to lose your soul on your life journey.

Women like you make mistakes all along the way, and NEVER own up to it when confronted.
No, of course not, you couldn't possibly be the center of blame for your own actions. You couldn't possibly be the actual CAUSE of the people you have hurt or damaged in your almost unending path of countless mistakes and hurting other people in your "path".

Women like you, your ambition takes full control and you don't see clearly what lies ahead of you or what's around you. You only see what you want and you don't care about who you hurt along the way to get it. Women like you then have a few crazy and wacky dreams with totally Salvadore Dali themed paintings because of just how distorted your souls have become. You go out of your way to punish men for not making you happy.

Women like you find a man that is charming, witty, athletic, or intellectual. You find a man that has the "it" factor that you could never have. You ponder and stare in amazement as he glides through life with what appears as ease. People love him, people adore him as he does what he does and he is actually accepted and makes people respect him. It is right then and there, women, like you, set upon a course to be involved with that man.

Sometimes it's a relative, sometimes it is a stranger, whoever he is, he is relevant to you because he has what you want. You want to be seen. You want what he has. And it mystifies you that he has this charisma about him. You know deep down inside that there is something magical about him. And you want that magic...... by any means necessary. You meet him and giggle at his charisma. You talk to him and vaguely agree to his view points on life.

Women like you, you lure him in and make great small talk as you then let him lead the conversation about his pursuits. You agree with him to let him feel safe with you. You do whatever it takes to be in his life, because to you, for some reason, he is the sun. He is the very sustenance you need. The very air that you breathe becomes infused with the very smell of him, and it drives you wild.

And then, it happens. You both have sex and it feels like you've entered into another realm. In this realm, you both are one and feel each other on levels that are totally beyond logic. Everything seems like it is going swimmingly well, until your pattern happens. Somewhere in that dream realm, you were confronted with your own reflection. You are confronted with the shame. You are confronted by all of your feelings of inadequacy and it crushes you like a bug.

He is feeling quite well, but you are not. He is on cloud 9 thinking that he has found someone to confide in and yet, women like you, play along to get everything on him. You listen to him tell you his weaknesses. You confide him with your false sense of security. All while you do what you set out to do, see what actually makes him tick. Women like you, then find what you want from him, in this moment and start your pattern. You find a way, to get him to be your prisoner. Some part of his radiance, MUST be a part of your life for the remainder of what sadness is yours.

You let yourself get pregnant. You conceive in that moment that forevermore you have a child that is a part of him and he is forever in your life. He is your captive, he is your prisoner, and he must take care of you. By all means, he doesn't want to face jail time. The courts do prod for some questions, but all in all, you know how easy it is to lie to them. Because, lying isn't hard for women like you. You've done it your whole life and lying to a court is just another version of it. Who cares if you have manipulated him and crushed his hopes, he must now make you radiate as he once did for only himself.

He then sees the signs, he feels the inadequacy between you two. He has seen your actual soul and when he does, it horrifies him. Here it was, he thought he could trust you, only to find out all of your girlfriends know his secrets that he trusted you with. He feels the truth behind you, that you are a walking corpse in his life. He understands slowly but surely what kind of creature you are. He sees the ambition, he sees the callousness, he sees you as that calculating monster you truly are and he is shaken to the core.

Women like you, are finally seen by him for what you are and then he leaves you. Why would he stay with you, you're a monster to him. You used him for your own desires on a much deeper level. You never intended to love him. You only intended to get what you want. But then it hits you in the gut. His presence is gone. The summer quickly is turning into winter. He is no longer in your life and you are forced to finally look again at that wraith in the mirror.

And off you go, women like you, to make him pay. You call him, you go out of your way to talk about him to all of your friends. Oh, let's be real, WHAT friends? Those other charlatans that you call friends but don't ever trust? I mean, why would you? Women like you, can't actually HAVE friends. So you do whatever can with what little power you actually do have to create a crusade against him. For some reason though, as you gather support against him, you gain some sympathy, but you still feel empty. You can't explain why, you just do. The sun is gone, and the summer of your bliss is gone with it. But women like you, can never have a summer that lasts.

And why is that? Why can't women like you actually keep love? Is it because you refuse to look at the monster in the mirror? Is it because you destroy everything you touch? Or is it because you are already dead walking this earth with no other purpose than to drain life on it before you turn to dust?
In either case, women like you are toxic to your children. You raise them with so much hatred in that hollow shell you call a soul. And when they finally awaken as they mature, they see you for what you are as well. They too, like your sun, inevitably leave you.

The need for change

I don't know about other people, but I feel like if my life is not evolving in some form every year, that I'm doing something wrong. I may not know exactly what is the right career for me, or what is the right direction for me to go in obtaining it. I do know however, I do not want to work in food or retail ever again. Food industry jobs are underpaying, overworking exhaust mule jobs that are thankless and meaningless. Retail jobs, are mosh pits of data driven drones over inflating "customer experiences" with pointless "add on sales" and stupid surveys.

Q, you are an artist dammit. That is what I had to tell myself. I love to draw, to write, to express, to feel. I love being able to create something with my own hands. I love being able to have deep meaningful conversations about creativity as a process. Alas, it seems I live in a world filled with a lot of "watchers and followers" and not enough leaders and doers. A lot of the fitness industry is so filled with jocks that only do what the next jock is doing. Instagram account, put in stolen philosophical quotes, show some skin, and say cheese! Pointless, all of it.

We live in a time where the world is desperate to gain a leader. An icon of a sort to show us the new direction to go in. Someone who can change the very fabric of reality and perception and move the world into a new age. I know for a fact that there are quite a few people looking at this very page, and not one of them has spoken to me directly about this content. And that is what I am talking about. People claim to want a connection, they have access to technology to give them a connection, and yet here is a person giving you a FREE INVITE to talk to him and no one will say a single word.

This is what is wrong with the current perception. This is what is wrong with an era of desperate housewives, basketball wives, kardashians, and love and hip hop stars. Everyone is looking to be the next big hit, and yet no one is willing to actually express their soul in so doing. I will start a new movement then. I will create on a new level to push my boundaries and make the world gag. I feel that it is time and that what I am seeing now needs to be changed. It is my own life that is an inspiration to so many others and yet, so few truly deep connections I've made in this world thus far.

I will change all of this within a matter of weeks.

Q

People are insensitive

I am a spiritual counselor and guide. I am a powerful supernatural in my own right. I assist people with their problems and their issues. Why do I seem to keep attracting to myself people who lack empathy? It's always the go-geters, the people who are ambitious and driven. These people tend to be the most broken. They are constantly trying to prove something that isn't even there. Constantly craving attention that, for some reason, they can't give to themselves.

I find the whole thing amusing and yet a bit disturbing to be honest with you. It's like people who lack empathy are their own species of people. Well, with pop culture raving about reptilians, I wouldn't be surprised at this point. People of this stock will swear up and down that they think about others, but their actions tend to say otherwise. At first, I used to give them the benefit of the doubt, but now, I have learned to simply walk the other way when these actions are displayed.

You learn that time well spent is something that you treasure the most. Why would you want to spend time with a person that doesn't know how to reciprocate? Nature is a balance, emotions are a balance, and my relations with people are a balance. If you can't reciprocate, then I have no time for you. You can't just take from the world and think there won't be consequences. That will always come back to back fire on you in some way, shape, or form.


Q

6/17/17

Today I was musing through subjects as I often do, and came across one that hit home on so many levels. Here's a catchy question: Why are there so many manipulative females? Oh now I'm not saying that there aren't manipulative men, I've seen quite a few of those. But what I am noticing within this lifespan, is that the ratio of manipulative females is far higher. Like, it's not enough to already have to live in a world filled with subjective mental programming, but now here some of these people come along who refuse to face themselves and their "tactics".

From my own mother doing a much weaker version of it, to my sisters doing their own version of it, to coworkers across the spectrum, I have noticed there are a lot of unhappy females who use manipulation. What I don't get, is that a lot of them will do almost whatever it takes to wear down their "target" to the point of exhaustion. At the end of their lives, you have a single female who ends up very much alone. No real friends, and family will have anything to do with her because of her own deeds.

When my mother asked me "Why don't you ever want to come over?" I had responded, "Because you and I both know you have made dealing with you almost unbearable, because you are judgmental to a fault." She was taken aback and realized that everything her daughters were telling her for years was the absolute truth when her son finally said it.

To an extent, I can understand the origin of the fear that pushes some people to do this. But what I don't get is choosing to attempt to manipulate a person against your own conscious, to achieve what you want. Because in the end, every single manipulator ends up very much alone in the karma of their own foolish choices. Death has absolutely no mercy, so how you chose to live will be reflected in how you die.

Q

The price of change.

We live in a world that is completely subjective, and yet due to emotion and perspective, it is easy to give your attention to negativity. I have blamed so many others in my younger days of my journey. So many things that have happened that were "written off" by the very ones who have committed atrocities to my mind. Because of this, I had often neglected myself.

I never thought of myself as someone who was worthy of love or respect, because I was abused for a long time during my childhood. The very first person I had fallen in love with broke down my barriers. He could see beyond my anger that there was so much pain. But in the course of things, even he ended up leaving me to fulfill a dream that didn't even happen.

We are taught in society that love is something that you give to others, but we are never taught about how good it actually is to give it to yourself. I have pondered and wasted so much time in the past in trying to have others love me. And here I was, not even caring for myself. Thinking of my own life like a bloated hard drive of bad information, I have made the decision to purge my life of all the bad memories and patterns of thinking.

I have decided to leave the popular social media sites, (at least for now) to stay here with myself. Social media has turned into a nest egg for narcissism. I do enjoy being able to use it for business or even a good laugh, but I haven't spent enough time loving exactly who I am and doing what I enjoy. Blogging is so much more fulfilling to me, because I am telling a perspective, my perspective, and I don't need to worry about disruptive ads, or various distractions.

I want to experiment with this, because I believe that social media (when used outside of business), is too much of an ego stroking mechanism. People fight far too often over opinions on subjects they have little to no control over. So excuse me while I write stories here, and enjoy my imagination.

Q